Free longe, she says. I goes out, and i immediatelies canter. She waits, and waits and waits. I has a lot of cantering to do- I can do it!!! I has so much better feelings my legs feel so long and my steps are huge.
OMG I'm not even cantering, I has good trotting steps all by myself! I goe back to canters and my partner waits for me. Soon i go back to trottings and she cannot believe teh strides I make.
Tehn teh trailer comes. OMG, NOE! I has to run, and she lets me, go go go she says. No more getting in yur way. i goes. and soon, i realize no one else is running, and I stops.
We goes to teh trailer, and just stand tehre. i want to go in and out really fast, and my partner doesn't even look at me. I tihnk she fell asleep standing up. i want to pull on teh rope, but every time i pull, teh rope moves like a snake and i can't pull on it. I keep trying, and each time it comes alive. i move my feet in all directions, my partner is still asleep. but her hand gets longer and tells my belly to move over. Soon it stops and i face teh trailer. She looks in teh trailer, and i go see it too. It is dark by now, and I soon goes in. She says she doesn't care about it, she cares about out. I flies out. again and again- trying to find teh end of teh rope to pull on. And soon I just get tired and i walk out of teh trailer. she says good boy we go back into teh barn, and I has dinner.
Teh next day teh trailer shows up again when i has free longe time. Teh long rope comes out, and we go by teh trailer.I want to stand on teh side, my partner lets me for a bit. Ten she brings out teh stick and taps my belly so i move. I goe, but goe right back and want to pull. tehre is no resistance. tehn she asks for forward, and i say no! I want to stay on teh side. teh same pressure is on teh rope, and teh stick taps teh belly. I move. over and over. I still don't like teh rope- I has pull back tendencies. She says it is high time to learn to porcupine to pressure on teh head and soon it starts happening taht if my partner clucks and I don't move to teh trailer, teh rope starts to get a little tense. If I pull back, teh rope is suddnely strong as heck and I can't pull back! I has to stop, tehn step forwards. Teh rope is loose again. Teh rope is stronger tahn me- what teh heck? Tehn she asks again, and sumetimes has to remind me wiht teh tap on teh belly. She says its not teh normal way of doin' tihs loading stuff, but we have to be different to change teh way we normally react to tihngs.
Over and over again, I suddnely has no wanting to run very far backwards.She asks for forward on teh rope, and if i don't give, teh stick comes out to do teh annoying tap tap tap.
Teh weird part is taht my partner is IN teh trailer, and I am not. She says we are gonna do tihs together. And soon i figure out taht if I go into teh trailer when she clucks tehn no rope pulls and no sticks...and I gets a treat if i stay long enough! over and over and over. She says it doesn't matter if it takes 2 million tries.
Teh backing out part is trouble- i just has to run out fast- who knows wehn teh door closes? My partner doesn't buy it. In and out, over and over again. Soon I stays in teh trailer for lots of time, and she begins asking me to take a step forward in teh trailer! OMG! But i soon do it. and when i fly out, she asks me to come right back in- she says I has to learn to give to pressure on my head when she asks- and she will do nothing to hurt me. And about a million loads later, I can take a step forward and back in teh trailer, and i can back out halfway and go right back in with a cluck of teh tongue.
She says taht is teh right stuff, goe Ernies!!! And tehn we're done.
I dun't knowe waht tu tihnk of all tihs just yet. But she says we're doin' tihs every day tihs week. I dun't knowe why cuz teh trailer never takes me anywhere. Its weird- but teh treats are good!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
The Release that Teaches
I has been struggling wiht waht i want to do wiht my skillz of speeds. Manee human mares i knoe don't necessarilies enjoy my speeds, and I has a hard time trying to has slow moves. Sumtimes I worrie about it so much I has sickness and tenshuns in my muscles.
My current partner has notices teh tenshuns. She has lots of other human mares to help her figure out waht to do, and I has feelings of loss during tihs time. Sick of waiting for somewon to get it right, i'd rahter not do anyhting at alls. I has memories of my past tries and tribulashuns, and I dun't know if I can do it anymores.
I saw her worries on her face, and saw her trying to tihnk of waht to do. She asks me, "Ernies waht do you want? waht is best? if you want to be in teh pasture forever, taht's okay. if yu want to just goes, tahts has rightness too- we all has understandings and yu deserve to be free."
I has time to tihnk about it. In teh meantime, we just spend times in teh arena. I has no halter or rope, and i just run. First i has nervousness abut it. No one wants teh speed of Ernies- maybee not even me. My partner decides to chase me. WaHT? I has more nervousness. She says "just goe, as fast as yu can!!" I tries, but i tihnk she really wants slow ernies. Stop chasing me!
Teh next time she tries again. I has nervousness. I hate trotting, I cannot tihnk when i trot. She asks for canter. I goes, and I looks at her. A few laps, she says again, "just goes, as fast as yu can!" I cannot goes. She asks again. I still cannot- i don't knowe waht will happen to mee- she may has anger. She asks again, OMG I goes!
She stops moving, stops chasing mee. She just stands in teh middle. She waits for me tu stop moving. I look at her wiht my head high, tehn my head low- waht just happened? I goe to see her in teh middle and she gives me a treat, pets me and says I has good-boy tendencies. She tells me to not be afraid of my speed- it is my best quality of alls.
And just wehn i tihnk we are done, we go teh other way. Tihs time i goes fast teh first time she asks. And tehn she just waits for me to come back down- it doesn't matter how long it takes- I always get a treat at teh end.
Tihs weird game happened for a few days. Each day it seems easier for me to use my speeds. And for some reason, I begins to has better feelings. My partner sees me on sun-day, and says we are gonna ride todays.
Really? We gets ready. Saddle, bridle. We goes in teh arena, and someone is taking pickshures. We do some moving, and by now i knows its ok to use my speeds with her.
Tehn she climbs on. OMG do I use speeds now? I can't I can't I can't. But I has want to. She just sits there and tells me its OK. I break into trots, she goes too. OMG I can't do it. We stop. She says ok, and start again. OK, goes. Teh speed picks up and suddenlies we are cantering, but OMG i has to buck a little, i can't do tihs wiht a rider. She says to try. We goes again, its easier to canter. Around and around we goes- I want so much speed but teh arena is too small. she helps me stay up with teh reins and teh leg- she says don't fall down! Okays.
And soon its over. OMG I did it! She says, yes, yu did, and gets off.
Teh video of teh riding part. I still has good looks!
My current partner has notices teh tenshuns. She has lots of other human mares to help her figure out waht to do, and I has feelings of loss during tihs time. Sick of waiting for somewon to get it right, i'd rahter not do anyhting at alls. I has memories of my past tries and tribulashuns, and I dun't know if I can do it anymores.
I saw her worries on her face, and saw her trying to tihnk of waht to do. She asks me, "Ernies waht do you want? waht is best? if you want to be in teh pasture forever, taht's okay. if yu want to just goes, tahts has rightness too- we all has understandings and yu deserve to be free."
I has time to tihnk about it. In teh meantime, we just spend times in teh arena. I has no halter or rope, and i just run. First i has nervousness abut it. No one wants teh speed of Ernies- maybee not even me. My partner decides to chase me. WaHT? I has more nervousness. She says "just goe, as fast as yu can!!" I tries, but i tihnk she really wants slow ernies. Stop chasing me!
Teh next time she tries again. I has nervousness. I hate trotting, I cannot tihnk when i trot. She asks for canter. I goes, and I looks at her. A few laps, she says again, "just goes, as fast as yu can!" I cannot goes. She asks again. I still cannot- i don't knowe waht will happen to mee- she may has anger. She asks again, OMG I goes!
She stops moving, stops chasing mee. She just stands in teh middle. She waits for me tu stop moving. I look at her wiht my head high, tehn my head low- waht just happened? I goe to see her in teh middle and she gives me a treat, pets me and says I has good-boy tendencies. She tells me to not be afraid of my speed- it is my best quality of alls.
And just wehn i tihnk we are done, we go teh other way. Tihs time i goes fast teh first time she asks. And tehn she just waits for me to come back down- it doesn't matter how long it takes- I always get a treat at teh end.
Tihs weird game happened for a few days. Each day it seems easier for me to use my speeds. And for some reason, I begins to has better feelings. My partner sees me on sun-day, and says we are gonna ride todays.
Really? We gets ready. Saddle, bridle. We goes in teh arena, and someone is taking pickshures. We do some moving, and by now i knows its ok to use my speeds with her.
Tehn she climbs on. OMG do I use speeds now? I can't I can't I can't. But I has want to. She just sits there and tells me its OK. I break into trots, she goes too. OMG I can't do it. We stop. She says ok, and start again. OK, goes. Teh speed picks up and suddenlies we are cantering, but OMG i has to buck a little, i can't do tihs wiht a rider. She says to try. We goes again, its easier to canter. Around and around we goes- I want so much speed but teh arena is too small. she helps me stay up with teh reins and teh leg- she says don't fall down! Okays.
And soon its over. OMG I did it! She says, yes, yu did, and gets off.
Teh video of teh riding part. I still has good looks!
Sunday, February 24, 2008
To My Friends
Sorries! I has not had good internets for sumtimes for manee reasons. First my partner has sickness she called flavor poisoning. WAAHT?! Hasing sickness from flavors? Oh noes!
Tehn I needed sum times off to figure out exactlees waht I want to do. Maybee it has to do wiht teh winter weather but, I has teh blues. My partner has busies at work and can't make it to teh barhne lots. Tehn my partner scared mee by bringing in another mare and starting to play wiht ohter horses. I has so much sadness I dont even has feelings about taht. She tells me she tihnks I may need a break cuz I has bad 'tude about teh work.
But teh weather has had goodness- finally teh sun comes out for a few days, and teh ground gets better. I has 3 mare friends and life is good. I meets massage therapist who helps my muscles, though it has funny feelings and I don't know if i has likes for it. My partner also gives me tihs special stuff called flower essences (she has crazie mind, I knoe, but I takes it to not hurt her feelings) after tihs woman who can talks to animals talks to me and I tells her a few tihngs, mostly about my bad feelings, and waht I want to do in my life. I want to has speeds outside.
We start werking again- but a little bit differentlies. Normally i has a lot of challenge to do teh trots. So we don't do much of taht anymore. A littel, cuz it has importance, but my partner is trying to push me to has speeds. I don't knowe my feelings about tihs. I has worries cuz I don't know if she can handle my speeds. I hasn't really opened up yet, but maybee one of tehse days I will.
So all in alls I has much better feelings. Hopefullys i will has more updates in teh coming days.
Tehn I needed sum times off to figure out exactlees waht I want to do. Maybee it has to do wiht teh winter weather but, I has teh blues. My partner has busies at work and can't make it to teh barhne lots. Tehn my partner scared mee by bringing in another mare and starting to play wiht ohter horses. I has so much sadness I dont even has feelings about taht. She tells me she tihnks I may need a break cuz I has bad 'tude about teh work.
But teh weather has had goodness- finally teh sun comes out for a few days, and teh ground gets better. I has 3 mare friends and life is good. I meets massage therapist who helps my muscles, though it has funny feelings and I don't know if i has likes for it. My partner also gives me tihs special stuff called flower essences (she has crazie mind, I knoe, but I takes it to not hurt her feelings) after tihs woman who can talks to animals talks to me and I tells her a few tihngs, mostly about my bad feelings, and waht I want to do in my life. I want to has speeds outside.
We start werking again- but a little bit differentlies. Normally i has a lot of challenge to do teh trots. So we don't do much of taht anymore. A littel, cuz it has importance, but my partner is trying to push me to has speeds. I don't knowe my feelings about tihs. I has worries cuz I don't know if she can handle my speeds. I hasn't really opened up yet, but maybee one of tehse days I will.
So all in alls I has much better feelings. Hopefullys i will has more updates in teh coming days.
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